Lesson 32 for Divorced Fathers Network

Divorced Fathers Network
Advocates Of Shared Parenting
'Because Children Love Both Their Parents'

Aids for Communication with the Other Parent*

Know in advance of the meeting with the other parent what it is you want to achieve.
Prepare yourself both by cleansing rituals and by identifying and recapturing a strong positive experience from your past that has the resources you think you need to handle the upcoming situation.
Align yourself physically with the other parent by sitting or standing beside him/her.
Try to place the problem before both of you, not between the two of you.
Use framing in front of every communication (including the questions) to give the other parent enough context so that he/she can understand what is being requested or stated.
Use questions plus paraphrasing to understand what is being proposed or said before you respond.
Talk assertively, but not aggressively, and speak in terms of how you feel.By working to improve communication between yourself and the other parent, you will not only be helping that relationship, but you will also be modeling good communication and problem solving skills for your children.

*from "Fathers Are Forever" By Steven Ashely, 2005