Divorced Fathers Network
 
Lessons for Divorced Fathers Network

Divorced Fathers Network
Advocates Of Shared Parenting
'Because Children Love Both Their Parents'

Tips for continuing to build a businesslike relationship when the going gets tough*

  1. Avoid in-person contact.

  2. Make your communications formal and direct (faxes, voice messages, memos, letters).

  3. Always demonstrate that you clearly understand what the other person is saying.

  4. Keep the agenda on the principle of doing what is best for the children.

  5. You know what triggers conflict with the other parent. Try not to push those buttons.

  6. Look for ways to acknowledge his or her loyalty, contribution and dedication to the children.

  7. Do your job as a parent, and let the other parent to his or hers.

  8. Confront only with great care. Choose your battles carefully.

  9. Try to be flexible. Volunteer something the other parent would like to have.

  10. Do some self-assessment.

  11. Keep the parent a person in your mind. Don't make him or her into a monster or a "thing."

  12. Do what you say you are going to do. Be reliable and dependable.

  13. Know your rights.

  14. Keep a detailed record or log.

  15. Use a mediator. Bring your memos, notes and documentation.

  16. If mediation doesn't help, see a lawyer or go to court yourself.

  17. If you can't change the situation, be sure your attitude works for you, not against you.

* From "Mom's House, Dad's House" by Isolina Ricci

Contact DFN by: phone: 831-335-5855
DivorcedFathers.org
   Email:steve@divorcedfathers.org

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