Lesson 2 for Divorced Fathers Network

Divorced Fathers Network
Advocates Of Shared Parenting
'Because Children Love Both Their Parents'

Become pro active in educating yourself on better more effective ways of communicating i.e. read books, spend time at the family law library, sit in on three or four court cases go to DFN meetings network with other divorced people. Be prepared.
Create a good positive environment for your children and yourself.
Learn to communicate with the other parent in a way that is positive and effective. Not angry or hurtful.
Treat the new relationship with the other parent as a business like relationship. This is the most important business relationship we will ever have. The business of raising children.
Know that co parenting is the best thing for your children.
Try to create and maintain a win win attitude. It's hard to argue with someone who has an attitude of (I love my kid(s) and I am willing to do whatever I can for them and for myself to make this difficult time for them easier).
Don't bad mouth the other parent in front of the children. More than likely the children are already having a hard enough time as it is with all the changes that are going on.
Encourage open communication with your children reassuring them that they are important to you and that if they have any questions mat they can come to you. We're all in this together.
Learn to listen actively. In other words pay attention to what the other person is saying so that you can better understand them and it shows them respect. Sometimes we feel that what we have to say is more important. We all want to be heard.
Try different methods of communicating. If something is not working try another way.
Set aside time for yourself. This is a time just for you. Walk, run, bike , kayak, take yourself out have fun. But don't get caught in the isolation trap.
Try to have a positive mental attitude. Nothing is set in stone. Things do change and they do get better.