Divorced Fathers Network
Advocates Of Shared Parenting
'Because Children Love Both Their Parents'
Moving Towards a Business Relationship
Relationship stages:
- friendship
- positive intimacy
- negative intimacy
- business relationship
Positive Intimacy
acceptance
positive assumptions
positive expectations trust
respect
loyalty privacy
informality
confidences are protected
implicit agreements and assumptions are positive
healthy interdependence
supportiveness and understanding
disclosure is nurturing
good give-and-take security
comfort maximum intensity of emotions and feelings
Negative Intimacy
rejection
negative assumptions. negative expectations
distrust, disrespect, disloyalty
privacy, informality, confidences arc not protected
implicit agreements and assumptions are negative
unhealthy dependence
competitiveness
disclosure is destructive
all take or all give
insecurity, discomfort
maximum intensity of emotions and feelings
One solution for breaking the negative intimacy cycle:
Retreat from intimacy (positive and negative), and move towards a businesslike relationship. The goal is to achieve a working relationship with the other parent that meets your children's needs.
- Think of this as a new relationship, one yet to be built, and unlike your past relationship.
- Characterize it as a business relationship.
- Recognize and remember that you have choices about how you act and react.
Contact DFN by: phone: 831-335-5855
DivorcedFathers.org
Email:steve@divorcedfathers.org
