Divorced Fathers Network
Advocates Of Shared Parenting
'Because Children Love Both Their Parents'

Sample Standards Of Conduct for Separated and Divorced Parents*

Regardless of the parenting plan that has been, or will be, negotiated between the parents, it can be extremely beneficial to all parties, especially the children, to agree on certain basic standards of conduct.

1. Both parents will make their whereabouts known to the other parent (or a designated person or persons) so they can be reached in an emergency.

2. Both parents will give an address and phone number to one another and to all child care providers.

3. Both parents will have access to all medical and school records and direct contact with personnel working with or caring for the children. It is our intent that both of us know about the children's needs and education. We agree to coordinate efforts regarding transportation, conferences and consultations.

4. Both parents will accommodate their children's desires to spend more time with the other parent for special activities or "together" time.

5. Neither parent shall do anything that would estrange the children from the other parent or impair the child's love and respect for a parent.

6. Both parents are free to attend the children's activities, even if the child is not residing with that parent at the time. Nonresident parent will not interfere in the child's schedule or with the resident parent's plans. For example, if a child is residing with his father and his mother visits him at school, she will not take the child off school grounds. Neither the resident parent nor the school should have to be concerned about the child's whereabouts or changes in plans without prior discussion and agreement.

7. Each child will have the opportunity to spend extra time with a nonresident parent by asking either parent for additional time. The resident parent has the final say.

8. The parents agree that the child will have unrestricted phone access to the other parent (or by beeper, e-mail, regular mail, etc.) and that a parent will have reasonable, unrestricted access to the child by these or other similar means.

9. Whenever appropriate, the children's wishes will be seriously considered
   when decisions are being made regarding their times and activities with each parent.

10. The parents will communicate regularly to discuss the needs and progress of the children. They agree to inform one another of significant events during the time the child is with them, and to do so before or at the time the children change residence (child exchange). This includes information about school, activities, events, medications, or health needs as well as the children's feelings, moods and physical health.

*from "Mom's House, Dad's House" by Isolina Ricci 1980, 1997

Contact DFN by: phone: 831-335-5855
DivorcedFathers.org
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