DFN receives hundreds of requests for advice: The most common is: "My ex-wife won't let me see my children, what can I do?" Abandon the idea that someone else will apply the law and make the ex-wife practice shared parenting. DFN suggests that men consider the advice of men and women who have successfully created shared parenting. Knowing your past mate as you do, you are most qualified to spot and utilize the shared parenting or conflict resolution techniques that might work for your family.

DFN ships booklets to fathers who want to be leaders and start up networks in their communities. The benefits these men receive are better relationships with their children, ex-wives and the respect of their communities. For men in the middle of contested divorces the need for support and education drives them to join groups. Their gatherings develop into networks that support the principle of shared parenting. To learn more about starting a network order STARTING A DIVORCED FATHERS NETWORK. Typically DFN is asked to supply answers to problems that have been created. That is "help me correct this situation." We feel we can do more by offering these suggestions as ways to avoid problems. a. Take the lead. Learn how divorce works both emotionally and practically. Understand the family law process. Learn NEW negotiating techniques. Take ongoing communication courses, such as conflict resolution/mediation.  b. Never get behind in child support. If you are labeled "Deadbeat Dad", even if the title does not apply to you, no one will give you the time of day. c. Do all you can to avoid a restraining order. They are easy to acquire and many women have them attached to their former spouses as a means to manipulate the court. For twenty five dollars a mother can get assistance in filing a restraining order. Judges almost never deny them. To avoid a restraining order limit contact with the former spouse and protect yourself at all times. Follow parenting schedules to the letter. Keep a record of your shared parenting, show that you are a devoted, responsible parent. You may need to show a custody counselor what a great parent you are. A journal of child related events records show how punctual you are, that you coached your daughter's tee ball team, or that your ex spouse was repeatedly late. When your child is an adult, the journal shows him or her what their father experienced as a result of his divorce. They will see why he parented them the way he did. Reading is a means of limiting problems - it is a wise investment