COLLABORATIVE FAMILY LAW (“CFL”) is a dignified, cooperative approach to negotiating and settling the issues arising from a family separation outside of court. Separated spouses, with the assistance of specially trained family law lawyers, negotiate their issues, as they define them, in a controlled, safe, and respectful setting. These structured negotiations happen in meetings between the spouses and their lawyers. These “Four-way Meetings” allow the spouses to explore together their issues, as they define them, in their voice. The lawyers act both as communication / negotiation coaches for their clients, and simultaneously fulfil their usual role of advising their clients about their legal rights, entitlements and obligations. The parties focus on effectively communicating to gather facts and discover each other's interests. Emotional tactics, threats, or abusive communications are all identified, discussed and eliminated. The lawyers, having agreed to not take part in any litigation that may occur if an agreement isn't reached, efficiently focus their time and effort solely on settlement, rather than posturing or preparing documents or themselves for court. Everyone, including the lawyers, are focused on creating together a stable, fair, legal Agreement.

What we are calling here an “approach” or elsewhere a “process” is exactly that. Collaborative Family Law, or CFL, is a method of negotiating. It is a highly specialized method of negotiating that was developed specifically for the emotionally-charged, complex and nerve-wracking negotiations that must occur when one or both members of a family decide that they can no longer, for whatever reason, live together.

It is a method of negotiating that is designed and structured to maximize your chances for success. Success is what you define it to be. But your goals need to be realistic, and this is where your collaborative family law lawyer will assist you. If you want to announce to your spouse that the marriage is over at breakfast and have a deal before dinner, well, that is a goal. It is not a very realistic goal, but it is a goal. Our job as collaborative lawyers is not to tell you what you want - it is to divine from you what you want, place that in the context of what is achievable both legally and realistically to determine your real goals, and then execute a plan to get you as close as possible to your goals.
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